Contradictions

Surrounded by contradictions I fell into a well in a desert. Yeah.

– me, lmao

I probably find this moment to be more epic than it actually is because I’m listening to this song.

I’ve become accustomed to allowing myself to have contradictions. To say I want to flee the country and then not.

To say that I want to shut down my failing company and get a job but continue to chisel away at everything I’ve built looking for a sliver of value.

I’ve learned that I need to trust my own intuition. I know how to act based on how I feel. No one ever taught this to me or mentioned this as a concept. Am I alone in that?

How many people are on autopilot in their own lives?

Growing up I felt a tremendous amount of religious guilt for no reason. That I was constantly being watched and had to act a certain way.

But now I can be free.

My friend said that she has never sinned. I wish that I had the same kind of conscience; to know that I’ve tried my best and can’t be faulted for it.

And I know that artificial intelligence will not save me, nor will it guide me. Or us.

I will guide myself.

Two years ago I wrote my first book. I realized that even though AI can write, I would never want to read anything written by it.

That I finally realized that I’m the only thing that’s holding myself back.

Once you can live with your mistakes, you’ll realize that nothing actually mattered at all.

There is no limit to human potential because there’s no limit and there’s no potential. Only being.

No moment had any importance.

Do my thoughts have to have cohesion? Do I have to have a point?

Would you stop reading if I made contradictory points?

Would you stop reading if ChatGPT told you to?